Saturday, July 14, 2007

Ode to the Asterisk……..We Hardly Knew Ye

What ever happened to our old friend, the asterisk? This used to be a favorite symbol of mine. We’ve all grown up – for the most part – using this wonderful little symbol as a rover, of sorts, to indicate or fill in or signify all manner of items: a break in the flow of thought, a rating system, a bullet-listing mechanism, a vulgarity-filler (s**t!!), a footnote, a grammatical or spelling correction indicator, emphasis, multiplication, and even for sports scoring.

Anymore, though, in our mass-media, litigation-infused society, the asterisk has become a double-agent. Any marketing material, publication, billboard, banner, pamphlet, coupon, advertisement, website, or other form of visible print media has usurped and corrupted our friendly asterisk into a sign of dubious connotation.

Take, for example, a seemingly innocent Burger King drive-through. I went through one today, even though I’m not a big fan of fast food, because I was raging for something salty and a giant bucket of Dr. Pepper, but didn’t want to actually park my vehicle to go get it. I noticed a placard advertising a Creamy Iced Coffee type of drink – that looked pretty good on a hot day – but only after I’d made my purchase. As I was driving by the placard, I noticed a super-tiny asterisk next to the word “Creamy”. Of course, this drink is not on the Burger King website, so I’m guessing it’s being test marketed. At any rate, making an exception marking next to the word “creamy” just seemed so……cheesy. Let’s look at this logistically. From Dictionary.com, the definition(s) for the word “creamy” include the following:

cream·y /Pronunciation Ke[kree-mee]
–adjective, cream·i·er, cream·i·est.
1. containing cream.
2. resembling cream in consistency or taste; soft and smooth.
3. cream-colored.
4. Informal.
a) beneficial or profitable: a creamy arrangement for profit sharing.
b) slick, facile, or superficial: His later movies are too creamy.

[Origin: 1425–75; late ME. See cream, 1 —Related forms
cream·i·ly, adverb
cream·i·ness, noun

Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1),
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2006.

So, by asterisking the term “creamy”, what exactly is Burger King trying to protect or exempt itself from? Liability from a lactose-demanding customer potentially irate at the use of a non-dairy cream-type material, instead of real milk? Protection from the irritable bowel of a lactose-intolerant consumer frustrated at the use of “actual cream” in his or her iced coffee-drink?

How far beyond the reasonable will we continue to endure punctuation abuse, as a society? I’m curious to know. I rarely trust my old friend the asterisk nowadays. It seems that any time I see him, it’s as though he’s providing me with a friendly wink of caution -

“Beware! This commercial is about a beautiful auto lease, but I’ll be followed by 3 rolling paragraphs of 1.5 font fine print scrolling by in 2.3 seconds flat and you, as the idiot consumer, will be expected now to have been fully informed of your rights and obligations as a lessor!”

or…

“Free”! (but only if you use our store card 34 times and send in 17 receipts dated within a 6 month period hand-signed by our store manager that works on the odd-hour day shift, mailed in an 8 x 10 envelope filled with the front page of your local newspaper’s Front Page). You get my drift.

So, farewell, fond asterisk….for I can no longer appreciate you as a friendly “come-hither, I have bonus material for you!” flag. Instead, you have been manipulated into a trickster that I have come to regard with a small amount of dread. You are the crossed-fingers behind the back of a shady salesman, the wink of a shyster, a flower....... hiding a lie. May you rest in peace, next to your brother, Truth in Advertising (which, unfortunately, you’ve been subjugated to nullify - sorry to break the news to you).

* * *


Friday, July 06, 2007

Only 12 Hours Left to Vote for the New 7 Wonders of the World!!!

Voting ends tonight in the global campaign to identify the "New 7 Wonders of the World." Of course, I've got to throw in my own bragging rights here, so places that I've been fortunate to visit are coded in blue...

Right now, with 90 million votes cast, organizers say the Great Wall of China, the Colosseum in Rome and Machu Picchu in Peru are leading the pack. The final results will be announced tomorrow in Lisbon, Portugal. So, get to crackin' and VOTE!!!

Here's the list of Seven Ancient Wonders that was created 2,300 years ago:

Lighthouse of Alexandria
Temple of Artemis
Statue of Zeus
Colossus of Rhodes
Hanging Gardens of Babylon
Mausoleum of Halicarnassus
Pyramids of Egypt

What would be on your list of wonders at the dawn of the 21st century? Vote here.

AP's list of the 20 finalists:

ACROPOLIS, GREECE: The Acropolis, a flat-topped hill standing above Athens, draws around a million visitors each year to walk among its 5th-century-B.C. marble temples and admire the statues of Greek gods and goddesses. The largest temple is the columned Parthenon, which was used as a church and then a mosque until it was heavily damaged in a 17th century war.

HAGIA SOPHIA, TURKEY: The soaring cathedral, also called the Church of Holy Wisdom, was built in 537 A.D. at Constantinople, today's Istanbul, under the direction of the Byzantine emperor Justinian I. In 1453, when Constantinople fell to the Ottomans, it became a mosque with minarets, but Turkish President Kemal Ataturk ordered it turned into a museum in 1935, allowing the Christian mosaics that had been covered by the Muslims to be revealed again.

KREMLIN AND ST. BASIL'S CATHEDRAL, RUSSIA: Onion domes with golden cupolas surrounded by red brick walls are at the heart of Moscow's Kremlin, a Medieval fortress converted into the center of Russian government, and the symbol of communist dictatorship at Soviet times. The red brick Cathedral of St. Basil the Blessed on adjacent Red Square featuring nine towers of different color, was built by Czar Ivan the Terrible in the mid-16th century to celebrate the capture of the Mongol stronghold of Kazan.

COLOSSEUM, ITALY: The giant amphitheater in Rome was inaugurated in A.D. 80 by the Emperor Titus in a ceremony of games lasting 100 days. The 50,000-seat Colosseum, which has influenced the design of modern sports stadiums, was an arena where thousands of gladiators dueled to the death, and, as tradition would have it, Christians were fed to the lions.

NEUSCHWANSTEIN CASTLE, GERMANY: The inspiration for the Sleeping Beauty Castle at Disneyland, Neuschwanstein is a creation of "Mad King" Ludwig II of Bavaria, who had it built in the 19th century to indulge his romantic fancies, long after the age of castles. Perched on a peak in the Bavarian Alps, the gray granite castle rises to towers, turrets and pinnacles and contains many paintings showing scenes from the operas of Richard Wagner, whose work Ludwig admired.

EIFFEL TOWER, FRANCE: The 985-foot tower, built by the engineer Gustave Eiffel for Paris' International Exposition of 1889, has become the city's symbol. Made almost entirely of open-lattice wrought iron and erected in only two years with a small labor force, the tower -- Paris' highest construction -- demonstrated an important advance in building techniques and at first was considered by many to be an eyesore.

STONEHENGE, BRITAIN:
How and why this circular monument of massive rocks was created between 3,000 B.C. and 1,600 B.C. is unknown, but some experts say its builders aligned the stones as part of their sun-worshipping culture, while others believe it was part of an astronomical calendar. Today it is a major tourist attraction and has spiritual significance for thousands of druids and New Age followers, some of whom gather on June 21 each year to celebrate summer solstice.

ALHAMBRA, SPAIN: The palace and citadel, perched above the city of Granada, was the residence of the Moorish caliphs who governed southern Spain in splendor until King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella expelled them in 1492, ending 800 years of Muslim rule. Mosaics, arabesques and mocarabe, or honeycomb work, are stunning features of the decoration.

GREAT WALL OF CHINA: The 4,160-mile barricade running from east to west is the longest man-made structure in the world. The fortification, which largely dates from the 7th through the 4th century B.C., was built to protect the various dynasties from invasion by the Huns, Mongols, Turks and other nomadic tribes.

KIYOMIZU TEMPLE, JAPAN: Kyoto's Kiyomizu-dera, which means Clear Water Temple, was founded by the Hosso sect of Buddhism in 798 and rebuilt in 1633 after a fire. It features a three-stream waterfall which is believed to confer health, longevity and success to the drinker.

SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE, AUSTRALIA: Situated on Bennelong Point reaching into Sydney's harbor, the opera house with a roof looking like a ship in full sail was designed by Danish architect Jorn Utzon and opened in 1973 by Queen Elizabeth II. The building, whose roof is covered by over 1 million white tiles, features 1,000 rooms and hosts 3,000 events every year.

ANGKOR, CAMBODIA: The archaeological site in Siem Reap, 143 miles northwest of the capital Phnom Penh, was the capital of the Khmer (Cambodian) empire from the 9th to the 15th century, and served as administrative center and place of worship for a dynasty that ruled over a vast domain reaching from Vietnam to China and the Bay of Bengal, the most prosperous kingdom in South Asia's history. Featured are Angkor Wat and Angkor Thom, two impressive temple ruins dating from the 12th century.

TAJ MAHAL, INDIA: The white marble-domed mausoleum in Agra, Uttar Pradesh state, was built by Mogul Emperor Shah Jahan between 1632 and 1654 for his favorite wife, Mumtaz Mahal, who died in childbirth. The complex -- an outstanding example of Mughal architecture combining Indian, Persian, and Islamic styles -- houses the graves of the emperor and his wife, as well as those of lesser Mogul royalty.

TIMBUKTU, MALI: Two of West Africa's oldest mosques, the Djingareyber, or Great Mosque, and the Sankore mosque built during the 14th and early 15th century can still be seen at the ancient city of Timbuktu in the northern Sahara Desert. Founded about A.D. 1100, it was a flourishing caravan center in the Arabic world and a leading spiritual and intellectual center in the 15th and 16th centuries, with one of the first universities in the world established there.

PETRA, JORDAN: The ancient city of Petra in southwestern Jordan, built on a terrace around the Wadi Musa or Valley of Moses, was the capital of the Arab kingdom of the Nabateans, a center of their caravan trade, and also continued to flourish under Roman rule after the Nabateans were defeated in A.D. 106. The city is famous for its water tunnels and numerous stone structures carved in the rock, the most impressive of which is probably Ad-Dayr, 'the Monastery,' an uncompleted tomb facade that served as a church during Byzantine times.

STATUE OF CHRIST REDEEMER, BRAZIL: The 125-foot statue of Christ the Redeemer with outstretched arms overlooks Rio de Janeiro on Brazil's Atlantic coast from atop Mt. Corcovado (the "Hunchback"). Created by Polish-French sculptor Paul Landowski, the statue weighing more than 1,000 tons was built in pieces in France starting in 1926 and shipped to Brazil. The pieces were carried by cogwheel railway up the 2,343-foot mountain for assembly. The statue was inaugurated on Oct. 12, 1931.

EASTER ISLAND, CHILE: Hundreds of massive stone busts, or Moais, are all that remains from the prehistoric Rapanui culture that crafted them between 400 and 1,000 years ago to represent deceased ancestors. With some standing more than 70 feet tall and weighing 60 tons, the statues gaze blankly out on the south Pacific Ocean more than 1,000 miles off the Chilean mainland.

MACHU PICCHU, PERU: Built by the Incan Empire in the 15th century, the giant walls, palaces, temples and dwellings of the Machu Picchu sanctuary are perched in the clouds at 8,000 feet above sea level on an Andean mountaintop overlooking a lush valley 310 miles southeast of Lima. It remains a mystery how the huge stones were moved into place for the construction of the remote city.

PYRAMID AT CHICHEN ITZA, MEXICO: This step pyramid surmounted by a temple survives from a sacred site that was part of one of the greatest Mayan centers of Mexico's Yucatan peninsula. Built according to the solar calendar, it is placed so that shadows cast at the fall and spring equinoxes are said to look like a snake crawling down the steps, similar to the carved serpent at the top. An older pyramid inside features a jade-studded, red jaguar throne.

STATUE OF LIBERTY, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: The 305-foot statue holding a torch has towered over New York Harbor since 1886 when it was dedicated as a gift of the French government, welcoming immigrants and Americans returning from abroad. An elevator inside takes visitors to the 10-story pedestal observatory, but access to the inside of the crown and torch is no longer permitted.

Ancient world wonder in addition to the new 7 wonders:

PYRAMIDS OF GIZA, EGYPT: The only surviving structures of the original seven wonders, the three pyramids were built as tombs for 4th dynasty pharaohs about 4,500 years ago. The largest of the three pyramids, the 452-foot-high Great Pyramid, was built for King Cheops. Nearby is the Great Sphinx, a limestone statue with the face of a man and the body of a lion.

It will retain its status as a wonder of the world in addition to the seven new wonders.