Santa's Very Personal "Screw You"

I suppose I wasn't a very good girl this year, but I'm hard pressed to think of any bad things I've done. We were supposed to get some snow on Christmas Night, except I misunderstood that to be Christmas Eve. So on Christmas Morning, I looked out of one of my front / side windows to check what the snowfall was. I saw no snow - instead, I saw raw sewage - my own (yep, turds'n'all, which is all you can really see in the grass) surrounding my sewer drain access cover. I've had slow drainage issues, which my plumber has previously declared the Fault of the Neighbor's Giant Maple Roots getting into my drain, which would have to be snaked out annually. That's on the calendar for March. Might have to be more than annually. But this being Christmas day, I wasn't going to be calling the plumber out. And I didn't want my little bodily presents out decorating the yard. So I grabbed a dozen or so Kroger bags and went out to do what any good pet owner should do when walking the dog - prepped with bags turned inside out, I went to go pick up my own crap. A humbling start to Christmas day.